Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Feel the feelings without the story...

I am continuing to have the opportunity to go to my post treatment support group. Today we talked about allowing ourselves to feel the feelings we are experiencing without attaching a story onto them. I need to sit with this idea for a while.

It is easy to get ahead of oneself and plan out an entire scenario before it happens or in my case attach someone elses outcome onto my journey. It is not a battle but more of a reminder that my journey is simply that -- MY -- journey. Having cancer is in my past. My mom and Jack (step-mom) paved a path that preceded my diagnosis and treatment but that is where the similarity ends. So when I stop and remind myself to feel the feelings... it grounds me and brings me back to the moment.

On the follow up front, I had my 3-month oncology appointment yesterday. It was a bit of a comedy of errors when they went to draw my blood. For some reason the vein tapped wasn't compliant but after a couple of sticks they got what they needed. Because I am still dealing with some fatigue they are checking for a few things. But Dr. M does not seem to be concerned. According to him I look good and my hair seems to be a conversation topic. I am truly grateful to have hair. And I am trying to embrace and love the hair that I have. I am getting there. In a little while I should really be there. I am getting used to being a larger self. The numbers on the scale continue to go up. I am trying to stay active and get into a regular exercise routine. I will be having a bone density and hip X-ray as I am unable to sit cross legged. I am hopeful that is not from the Arimidex (aromatase inhibitor).

I am thrilled with the support that www.wingsofcouragebelieve.com is getting. It is really a tremendous feeling to have an idea and see it come to life. I launched a Face Book page for my Wings of Courage pendant. Make sure you become a fan.

I continue to be touched and honored to have so much love and support.

Ancora Imparo