Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Feel the feelings without the story...

I am continuing to have the opportunity to go to my post treatment support group. Today we talked about allowing ourselves to feel the feelings we are experiencing without attaching a story onto them. I need to sit with this idea for a while.

It is easy to get ahead of oneself and plan out an entire scenario before it happens or in my case attach someone elses outcome onto my journey. It is not a battle but more of a reminder that my journey is simply that -- MY -- journey. Having cancer is in my past. My mom and Jack (step-mom) paved a path that preceded my diagnosis and treatment but that is where the similarity ends. So when I stop and remind myself to feel the feelings... it grounds me and brings me back to the moment.

On the follow up front, I had my 3-month oncology appointment yesterday. It was a bit of a comedy of errors when they went to draw my blood. For some reason the vein tapped wasn't compliant but after a couple of sticks they got what they needed. Because I am still dealing with some fatigue they are checking for a few things. But Dr. M does not seem to be concerned. According to him I look good and my hair seems to be a conversation topic. I am truly grateful to have hair. And I am trying to embrace and love the hair that I have. I am getting there. In a little while I should really be there. I am getting used to being a larger self. The numbers on the scale continue to go up. I am trying to stay active and get into a regular exercise routine. I will be having a bone density and hip X-ray as I am unable to sit cross legged. I am hopeful that is not from the Arimidex (aromatase inhibitor).

I am thrilled with the support that www.wingsofcouragebelieve.com is getting. It is really a tremendous feeling to have an idea and see it come to life. I launched a Face Book page for my Wings of Courage pendant. Make sure you become a fan.

I continue to be touched and honored to have so much love and support.

Ancora Imparo


Anonymous said...

Feeling the feelings while not attaching a story to them is one of the hardest assignments Teacher Life ever gives her pupils. We all need to work on that every day...especially when we catch ourselves descending into the fear trough. Thanks for the message.

I loved the picture of you in Sedona...one of my favorite places. Traveling is so invigorating!

Hope you and yours have a wonderful High Holiday season and a grand new year.

With love always.

Marilyn, Fred and Betty

Anonymous said...

Wonderful news all around, Marla. And don't worry about the weight. I think the body has to readjust from all the chemicals it has processed. My 15 lbs came off by themselves.