I had a qi gong (pronounced chee gong) session this week. And for those not familiar this is a quick definition from our friends at Wikipedia. The qi in qigong means breath or air in Chinese, and, by extension, life force, dynamic energy or even cosmic breath. Gong means work applied to a discipline or the resultant level of skill, so qigong is thus breath work or energy work.
I did not know what to expect and I think that no two people have the same experiences. I can tell you that it was a very emotional (in a good way)and I am still processing it. But I slept better that evening than I have in months. So I am thinking that my qi needed some attention.
We started the session by talking about my cancer journey. Which started when I was 8 with the death of my real father and continued with the death of my real mom followed years later with the death of my step mom. And of course there have been others along the way that have battled cancer and continue to battle in my circle and of course my own diagnosis in March.
I was led through several exercises that target different things. One of them was a reprogramming of my DNA. Now it may sound a little woo woo for some of you but I am open to whatever works -- I am cancer free and want to keep it that way. I had to visualize the bad pieces of my double helix and then repair them (visualizing what was bad in this case glowing with what was good.)
Following that exercise I worked on healing my heart. As I was told that it seemed like with all that I have been through and even though I have a positive attitude and outlook there is still a wounded heart that needed repair and the breast and lungs are attached to the heart center. Again, this may be too out there for some of you. This was truly cathartic for me. I was told to visualize a door outside of my heart and to open it and then to really examine my heart and look for signs of tears and breaks and if I found one I was to use a needle and thread (I visualized gold thread and quite a large needle) and mend them. As I was making the repairs the thread dissolved leaving a perfect heart. As tears streamed down my face I felt lighter as I let go of a lot of past hurts. It is difficult to put into words the impact that this session had on me.
We talked about releasing any and all pain of losing loved ones and replacing it with a celebration of the joy for having had them. This is not new for me but in the context of the entire session it made a tremendous impact.
I was reminded that although I am done with my treatment (with exception of reconstruction) I am still not at 100% and it will take time (approximately two to three years) for me to get there. That must explain why I have been drawn to butterflies in the last several months -- I feel that I am in a cocoon of sorts and when this is truly behind me I sense emerging as a magnificent butterfly.