I awoke yesterday getting a little anxious about my surgery on Thursday. I had an inkling this was was going to happen. As I prepare I am reminding myself that my journey still has a long, long way to go. And that this surgery (and those to follow) will continue to put me on the path to full recovery and healing.
As a way to help calm my anxiousness I gave myself a new mantra which is -- my journey is different from my Mom (Linda) and Step Mom (Jacki) and will have a much better outcome. In addition to the mantra I continue to hold onto the image of Mike and I sitting in our rockers in our retirement.
The day progressed and I found myself busy with pre-op appointments which included an EKG and Chest X-ray.
I asked Bonnie F., the magnificent facilitator of my support group, for any tools she might have to assuage my nerves. And she suggested that I visualize my desired outcome and remind myself that right now I am alright; safe and whole. I took the time to think about this and allowed myself some quiet time to stop and take deep cleansing breaths and chant my new mantra. This definitely helped (and continues to.)
I picked up Sully from school ready to take him to a few more places to sell his popcorn for cub scouts but was greeted with an unhappy face and droopy eyes. Once I got him in the car his nose started to run and he started to cough. Poor little guy. Thankfully our pediatrician was available and confirmed it is a viral bug that will work through his system. He stayed home today with Mike while I went to dentist to have my permanent crown put on -- only there was a little SNAFU. My tooth or more aptly the dental pulp had irreversible pulpitis. (Which explains why it has been hurting.) So three hours later after a deep cleaning and some packing into the root I was sent on my way with an upcoming appointment to see an Endodontist for root canal once I recover from surgery.
That is really the reader's digest version.
Honestly, I think these diversions have been good for me on many levels. Not that I want Sully to have a cold or that I want to have a root canal but I do think that they are my little reality checks to not get bogged down with what is coming up. Simply put these things force me to stay in the moment.