Sunday, April 5, 2009

I wanted to share a portion of my day. It was incredibly reminiscent of Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles. You know the moment where she is standing at the top of the stairwell and literally gets felt up by her grandmother. And thanks to the wonderful world wide web here is the dialogue from that scene:

Grandma Helen: Oh Sam, let me take a look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies. Grandpa Fred: I better get my magnifying glass. Ha Ha Ha. Grandma Helen: Oh, and they are so PERKY. [reaches to cup them] Grandma Helen: [cut to:] Samantha: I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up.

Well there was no stairwell involved this afternoon but there was my grandma and yes... well... she did feel me up! Grandma for those that don't know is now 89 and lives in an assisted living facility not far from my house. She was recently moved to the wing that provides 24-hour care since she is prone to falling and wandering. She has adjusted well to her new surroundings and was quite alert when my sis, B, and I went to visit. Her face lit up as we entered her room and it was wonderful to spend some time visiting with her. We had some serious moments and several good laughs since she was so lucid. We had our usual conversation repeating that B and I have come to expect. Though for the most part she kept returning to my new bust line. To the point of having her own hands on experience as mentioned above.

I do find it all a bit similar to being pregnant when complete strangers would ask if they could touch my growing tummy. I would most often oblige them. But this is a lot more personal to me. Thankfully Grandma is the only one that has been brazen enough to cop a feel.

After our visit with Grandma we went to the cemetery to have some quiet time. Yesterday marked the 21st year since our mom passed away. It was the first time I had been since prior to my diagnosis.

Last year I thought about going quite a bit but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Mike, bless his heart, always offered to take me up there and sit with me but I just couldn't do it. The sheer emotion of everything that we were going through with my diagnosis and treatment made it too difficult. But today I was really ready to be there. Which felt really good.

Ancora Imparo


Anonymous said...

How wonderful that your Grandmother was so with it!!! I laughed out loud at your description of the visit...

I'm also glad that you visited your mom's resting place yesterday, and that you went there at the perfect time for you. For me, there is always both pain and peace in a cemetery--and both are honest and honorable reactions.

I love you. Happy Passover.


joyce said...

I am thinking back to a year ago (April 17th I think was the date),when I walked into your hospital room to share my love and support with you and Mike, not to mention bringing in some homemade charoset and matzah for the holidays...and now I am reading this beautiful and "uplifting" exchange between you and your Grandma!!! You have come full circle, my dear and wonderful friend!!!


bleuloeil said...

so what are you saying - does this mean I cannot feel you up?

Ellen said...

There is nothing more to say except how proud your mother would be... She is definitely sitting on your shoulder (or lovely new breasts) cheering you on...