Monday, July 28, 2008

Bad Dream...

I had a huge anxiety dream the other night.
In my dream it was Tuesday, 7/29 (tomorrow) and I had taken Sully somewhere and at 10:30A I suddenly remembered that I was scheduled for my last Chemo only I had forgotten (up until that moment) and I hadn't taken any of my pre-Chemo meds and I was now a half hour late. I immediately called the office and explained the situation and was told to come back next week or the week after -- I was really upset by all of this and I pleaded with the oncology nurse on the phone that it was my last one.

Thankfully, it was just a dream.

And the truth of the matter is if in fact my counts are really low tomorrow and I am told that I can't have Chemo I know it will happen at the right time when my counts are high enough for my body to handle it. I don't think that will be case. I am feeling pretty good.

My last Chemo is so close. I look forward to saying goodbye to this part of the process. I am ready to focus on regaining my strength and rebuilding my stamina.

Ancora Imparo
Marla

And yes, I started taking my pre-Chemo meds this morning!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Isn't it amazing how the things we fear a great deal always come to haunt us in our dreams. Just when I think I've thought something troublesome completely through, my dreams will let me know that the problem is still nagging at me...and that there is more pondering to do!!!

I, too believe you will receive chemo # 4 tomorrow...but I am willing to "let go and let G-d..."

Love to you all.

Marilyn (and Fred and Betty)

Juls said...

Chemo brain dreams. Preggo brain dreams. All over the freaking ballpark. It was ONLY a dream. I hope that your levels are all good so that you can have your final chemo and move on with your life. Put all this behind you and move on to the next phase of recovery. Have a good week. I know I'll talk to you!

Anonymous said...

I can certainly relate. It reminds me of the dreams where we wake up late and miss our finals. Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking about you and sending you positive energy.

laura said...

wow. the last chemo! (all of a sudden, the days turn to months). and, yikes, marla, you may be hairless, but maybe that happens so you can have less weight on your new knowledge-crammed brain! i've just caught up again, and thu all these blogs, you must have shared only just a little of what you've learned, but i'm sitting here a little stunned from all the information and emotion. (i'm also embarrassed 'cause i always loved black and white oxfords. just more of a geek than you, i guess.) hope you're having a very successful last chemo day. ....by the way, you seem to use the word 'bits' instead of 'parts' a lot. is this a british influence??? xxoo

joyce said...

That bad dream is way behind you and you never have to look back...only forward to all the goodness that awaits you!!!! Michelle and I can't wait to be in your presence on Wednesday!!! Get ready for some big hugs!!!

Love you
Joyce