Thursday, July 3, 2008

Ups and Downs...

Every situation has its ups and downs and dealing with cancer is no different.

I am happily and quite thankfully feeling very up at the moment.

Today was a beautiful day. I went to my support group. B (our magnificent facilitator) had us start off with an exercise that was part relaxation and part guided imagery. As I sat there I had time to quietly reflect on what I wanted to get out of the group today. What question did I have or feeling or thought was I processing that I wanted to share.

I thought about the word that best described how I was feeling at that moment and for the last several days. The word was Fragile.
I was feeling extremely fragile. I was able to share why I was feeling this way and was reminded that healing is an ongoing process that takes time. I really needed to hear this and absorb this today.

Being thrown head first into (Chemo induced) menopause has definitely been filled with ups and downs. The (Chemo induced) PINK EYE that I came down with earlier in the week was a surprise. I am on antibiotics to ward off any other "surprises" as Chemo 3 is right around the corner and my white count is still low. Following Chemo on Tuesday I will have a neulasta injection to boost the white count production.

I stayed at weSpark after my group for Tai Chi -- I was incredibly grateful to be able to take that time for myself for my healing. I felt so much better and could feel the funk lifting.

I don't know what emotions I will be feeling tomorrow -- I simply celebrate how I am feeling right now and that is gratefully up.

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy:
They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
Marcel Proust
French novelist (1871 - 1922)
Ancora Imparo


Anonymous said...

How wonderfully serndipitous that I read your blog this a.m. about your gratitude for feeling up...I had just gotten a letter with the following quote by Melody Beattie: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity... Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

Happy Fourth of July!

With love always, Marilyn, Fred and Betty

joyce said...

I am so looking forward to our time together on Monday! What beautiful, honest feelings you share with us. Everyone who knows you shares in the deep gratitude they feel towards you. Everything in that powerful quote is a reflection of you and we are the lucky recipients.

With immense respect, gratitude and love,

laura said...

marla: have been out of touch, but am happy to now be catching up. boy, there are lots of stories in the big city! you sound great. fragile? maybe. human, certainly. (but she bends not breaks!) and love the mii/wii stuff. we too love our wii. and, a personal response to your pal aaron: (sorry to use your blog for personal stuff, but i have a feeling you'll approve) aaron: how do i get in touch with your j? i'll be happy to support her: with a connection to marla and from boston... how could i not try to help?