Thursday, April 17, 2008

A Little Hole In The Bubble...

Hello everyone, Mike here.

It's 11:20pm. It was a long day. We felt your love and support and it is ALL appreciated.

Marla's surgery started late. And it ran late. She is resting now and I am home to take care of Sully boy.

I'm going to be brief -- I am emotionally very drained. But I wanted to share with those I have not yet been able to reach.

The news we received today was not the news we were hoping for. The sentinel lymph node test showed cancer hadn't been contained in the right breast, but was also in at least two of the lymph nodes. The surgeon went ahead and removed the axillary nodes and put in a porta-cath for chemo which will begin as soon as we get the path results and as soon as Marla is healed enough to begin.

I know... apparently the little bump in the road had a pretty bad pothole behind it that I certainly didn't see coming. As I've said before, this REALLY SUCKS. Scarily sucks.

Okay, but the good news -- and we need to hold on to it -- in theory, removing the breasts and the axillary nodes HAS removed the cancer from Marla's body. And, if any of it is elsewhere, then the chemo should take care of it.

Remind yourselves of this (and please constantly remind me because, honestly, I'm a little scared right now) -- breast cancer is highly curable. And although we don't have the pathology of what Marla's cancer is like, the results we have gotten show she is able to be treated not only with chemo, but with hormonal drugs as well. So, the prognosis is still good. It is VERY good.

So please, repeat after me... "Marla will be okay." Please say it ten, twenty, or even thirty more times. Rinse and repeat.

In my last blog I described the LOVE and BLESSINGS we're receiving as a giant bubble that has enveloped Marla and is helping her defeat the cancer. Perhaps just somehow, that F@^*ing cancer managed to sneak around our backs and poke a little hole in our brilliant bubble of love. But with your help, I know we can patch that tiny little hole in the bubble. The hole is tiny. Our love of and for Marla is BIG. We can do it. We will do it.

Marla's spirits are good. When I left, she was groggy (pain medication) but alert, and looking to get some rest. She confided in me that she knew the cancer had spread into her lymph nodes. She just "felt that it had." I looked at her, half joking (and half pissed because I believed it hadn't spread) and asked "Is there anything else you KNOW that you'd like to share with me?!" She looked at me and said "Yes. I know I'm going to beat this."

Tomorrow will be a better day. We are now healing -- and patching the hole.

My love and gratitude to you all.

Ancora Imparo.



Juls said...

Marla will beat this. Marla will beat this. Marla will beat this. (repeat) And she WILL. I know she will.

Yes today sucked completely. Worst day ever but, and you said it Mike, her cancer is highly treatable and BC is curable. This is all GOOD. I mean, the BC isn't but if it has to be, then let it be treatable with high expections for getting rid of it.

It's ok to be scared but know that we're all here for ALL of you. And the blog is a great place to vent. {{{{BIG HUGS}}}}

Ellen said...

What a day you have had! We are thinking of you all, all the time. When things settle down a bit the good part will take over..."Curable and treatable and cannot take any strong kicks by Marla and her family". You are all wonderful...Get some rest.

Marshall said...

Sometimes a little hole is just a little hole. It is far to easy to hear that little hissing sound and get worried but don't let the noise interfere with all the positive energy in you and around you. Everyone, and I mean everyone is on your side, in your corner and with you all the way.
We all have faith, belief and certainty that you will beat this interloper back, into submission and finally out of your lives forever.

Love you always, Uncle Marshall

Maria said...

Sending you lots of hugs and prayers! I am here from Juls blog and I just wanted to let you know I've been keeping you and your family in prayer. Glad to hear the surgery went well and that this is a treatable and curable condition! Many, many prayers for you for a complete and promt recovery!

Anonymous said...

We have a new family mantra, Marla will beat this! The Murphy's are holding Marla, you and Sully in our thoughts every day.
Becky, Lane, Finn and Cole

Anonymous said...

Marla, Mike & Sully,
This too shall pass.
Start every day with a smile and strength. I'm sure
there will be bumps along the way but at night lie in peace. And know that in the end it was a good day.
You heard a bird sing, you got a kiss from your son and a hug from your husband, a friend called because they were thinking of you, the sun was shinning, the garden roses started to bloom, you heard a song on the radio and it brought back youthful memories.
As you already do, focus on the positive. It will surround you and carry you through difficult times.
You are a very strong person and I have total faith
that you will be victorious!!!!!!!!!
Love you,
Debbie P.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mama, just a little set back is all. Kick its *&%. Mike, it is ok to be scared, just know Marla WILL beat this. She is so strong and so good! We love you so much. Lisa, Robert, Bo & Ty

joyce said...

Marla WILL beat this! She WILL!
Hi, you guys - it's Nicole (Pitman). Tonight was the first night I've been on your blog and I read every single posting. The blog is incredible! You guys are amazing! You have reminded me how blessed I am. How miraculous life is and how humor and love make things brighter, sometimes easier and a whole lot more paletable (sp?!). I am filled with so much gratitude and hope because of you two and for you two and Sully. I was thinking about the fact that it's no accident that the surgery took place so close to Passover and that Marla's healing gets to begin during this time when we remember and give thanks for our "freedom from bondage". So, I'm thinking the "Plague" has passed and the small bump of the nodes is just the trip through the desert. The Red Sea is parting and all those golly-gosh-darn cancer left-overs are going to be covered with water just like those mean ol' bully Egytians! So keep going, because that big guy that's been looking out for us for centuries is on your side! Lots of love, prayers, light and laughter to all three of you - Nicole (using Adam & Joyce's username)

Anonymous said...

Take deep breaths. Hold on to each other...Let go and let God.

We love you all...

Marilyn, Fred and Betty

laura said...

marla will beat this. marla will beat this. marla will beat this...marla, this thing hasn't got a chance against you and yours. no doubt.

Paula Marquez said...

Marla, sending you faith, healing & positive energy. I know you're a survivor! Mike & Sully, sending you understanding & positive energy - I know you're going through a lot also. You are all in my prayers. Love, Paula Marquez

Anonymous said...

Dear Mike and Marla,
Thank you for the updates. I am sure writing these blogs are in many ways very hard and in some ways the best things for you. Remember: the worst thing about a person, place or thing is also the best thing about a person, place or thing. You are in our thoughts. Amy & Tony

PS I do think you have experienced your worst day. Prayers and good thoughts do work. I had a bad surgery day with my mother and things did turn around. Faith is a powerful tool.

joyce said...

Not Just "marla will beat this"...future tense, but instead, "Marla IS BEATING THIS NOW!"...present tense!!! You are doing it...BEATING IT IN A BIG WAY!!! With every second, minute, hour and day that passes, YOU ARE BEATING IT!!! You were a beautiful sight to see yesterday and you stayed with me through both of my seders!!! I hope that by now you are at home with your beautiful boys!!! Continue to nourish you body and soul. You are all deeply loved and cared for...always. Joyce

Buff said...

Marla will beat this!! We are joining in on the mantra! Scared, angry, hopeful, anxious, will go through the gamut of emotions, but LOVE will be the glue and God will give you strength. Rest now and know that you are so loved. Buff, Terry, and Emma